FEELIN' AW-RIGHT!
One more day to feel pretty good. There were several days after the surgery when I thought I'd never feel normal again.

Yes, I hear the chorus of voices - "Gail, you've never been normal!". Well, you know what I mean. Having enough energy to walk from the bed to the kitchen and back. That was a major effort. Eating was difficult because I had no appetite. And then that infection hit and I went back to the hospital again. I won't say I'm back to full strength but I am better than I was even a week ago.

My antibiotic bottle tree
for second hospital stay.

I confess my brain consciously or unconsciously can't think of much else but Friday morning and what/how I'll feel when those chemicals begin flowing in my veins. Somehow the thought of dying has never been part of the picture. I think because I'm not afraid of dying. I am apprehensive about being able to work, drive, eat, take care of the animals, write these words . . . ..

Plank napping

I've talked to other people who have gone through cancer treatment. They've given me a little insight but really, I don't want to know. We're all different. We all react differently. It's our cancer and most of what happens to us inside our bodies and our heads is not shared. I'll probably be the same way when this is over.

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
I had robotic surgery meaning that I have five 1/2 inch incisions scattered across my abdomen instead of a long cut. Not much scarring - too bad I don't have a bikini body anymore. Anyway, those slender little robotic arms have a light and little knives on the end. With the doctor's help, those little knives cut everything loose. I imagine a tiny Edward Scissorhands dancing around my belly and that brings a picture of Johnny Depp to mind. SWOON.

PET ADVICE

Eat often says The Kitten.

I gave blood this morning and it looks like I'm okay to get the drugs on Friday. I think I'm going in with solid numbers which is good because infection is a major concern for the staff. Chemo training went well. I know more about what to expect. Fatigue seems to be the main issue. The drugs will kill cells that divide rapidly as cancer cells do, but other good cells that divide rapidly - hair follicles, intestinal tract, and red and white blood cells and platelets - will also be killed. Tiredness is mainly caused by my body's need to use energy to replace those good cells. I was so tired when I came home from the cancer center that I took a three-hour nap.

Roxy says nap oftener.

I think I'll follow advice from the pets - eat, nap, eat, nap, eat, nap. And drink a lot. Drink a lot to flush the drugs from my system. "Why not just give me less drugs?" I asked. They really didn't have an answer for that.

Plank says eat when not sleeping.

I almost backed out when they said that my hair might come in a different color. Okay, I'll take being bald for a few months. And I'll learn to live with wavy hair but a different color? That's a deal breaker. This hair represents all my Irish ancestry and it's gotta come back the same color. They seemed shocked when I told them that no dye has ever touched my hair.

SETTING SAIL FOR REAL
The ship unfurls her sails on Friday morning. Still lots of unknowns ahead and probably some rough seas (maybe I'll meet Captain Jack Sparrow!), but I expect mostly smooth sailing because I'm on the right course. I'm just getting back my desire for morning coffee. Will I lose it again? Will I really want to eat celery? Will I not want to eat chocolate? I despise celery. I love chocolate. I'm not stocking up on too much food for me since I don't know what or how much I'll want to eat. They don't want me to lose too much weight.


Rest when not eating, Plank advises.


In any case I am anxious to get underway so I can be finished with it and really work on getting back to what passes for normal for me! I'll try to drink a lot (but not alcohol), eat when I can, stay away from crowds and sick people and negative people(!), and rest whenever I feel tired. Just like Plank.

And now I'm heading for bed. Many things to do tomorrow. The sleeper sofa arrives in the morning so my cousins will have a place to rest (after eating of course) and helping me finish up painting and picture hanging, etc.

I'll see  you for the next blog after the first treatment! Thanks for being part of the crew!