ROUGH WATERS
Our little boat hit some squalls but did not capsize. Had a nice dinner at Bella Bella with family on Thursday June 18. Boy Howdy, that Eggplant sure tasted good but tomato sauce is definitely off my food list for the next few months. Agony that night! I felt like hot coals were pouring through my intestines and burning a hole in my stomach. No rest and a lot of pain.

A bit better in the morning but called the Cancer Center for advice. Tums, it appears would be the answer. Surely everyone in America has them handy, right? For 66 years and some odd months I have no need of an antacid that I can remember. Cast iron stomach. Able to eat anything, except spoiled food, but you know, you throw up and move on. Tummy is maybe a little tender but take it easy until all better again.

I now have a container of Tums. O, joy.

The weekend was not very productive. I rested a lot and didn't eat much. Robin came and got me on Saturday and took me to town for grocery shopping and another haircut. My hair was still firmly attached but soon, I knew, it would begin coming out.



Dianne and me on the front porch. Can you see
the family resemblance?

Tired on Sunday and managed (just barely) to get ready for my cousin Dianne and her husband Joe who arrived Sunday afternoon with tools and skills to finish some projects. My wonderful cousins got so much done while they were here - probably a good thing I was not in their way!



Dianne and Joe on the freshly painted front porch. The front
door looks so much larger with the screened door painted red too.



Joe only meant to add a top rail but he
ended up redoing the entire deck railing.
Looks fabulous Dahling!

White cabinets and hood painted
with chalk board paint. Lovely.

Fatigue continued into Monday, extremely sluggish and not much appetite. The evening brought on a whole new pain. All night constant aching muscles and bones. Not moving like The Hooligans, just a steady all over aching. Again, no rest. Called the Cancer Center on Monday. Tylenol should do the trick. No, I don't have Tylenol - Advil, aspirin, Aleve, but no Tylenol. Luckily Dianne had to run out for supplies so she brought back Tylenol. Tuesday pretty much a bust.

Don't come to my house expecting first aid. The band aids are probably 20 years old.


Sada ready for the whack
 job. No more Woody
Woodpecker look

By Wednesday recovery began. Appetite coming back. Time to wash my hair so I do the tug test. Whoops! A couple of dozen strands come out. I think I have been waiting and dreading this day for some weeks. How will I react? How will I feel with no hair? How will other people look at me? Can I learn to tie a scarf? (no) Will I look like Rick Scott?

Helen comes down to take me to town for the big shave. I think I'm ready but who knows? I might burst into tears. I don't but it's a tense moment. I can't watch the actual shaving. I was told my scalp would be sensitive since it's been protected by hair for lo, these many years, but it isn't. Oddly there is still stubble so now I have Velcro head. Scarves and hats stick when removed. In any case, I am actually more comfortable bald although I will wear a hat if I'm out in the sun for very long.

GOOD REASONS TO BE BALD
Bald is beautiful.
Save time and money - hair products, hair cuts, washing hair, fussing with hair (much to my mother's dismay I really did not do much of that once I got out of high school)
People jump to help a bald woman because they know it means cancer. Most of the time I can handle stuff but every now and then I need the help.

MY BODY IS LIKE A CAR WITH A BROKEN GAS GUAGE
Chemo therapy is more than some pain and fatigue. There are all sorts of other mixed signals along the way. For instance my balance is a little off but I haven't fallen yet. My conversations wander all over the place even more than usual and sometimes I just can't think of words quickly enough.

Did you ever have a car or know someone who had a car with a broken gas gauge? You had to remember how many miles you could get from a tank of gas and remember to reset the gauge after getting gas. Well, my bladder no longer sends a signal that it's full so I have to judge by the amount of water I drink. Haha. This adventure is such fun. You just have to roll with it and laugh.

SECOND CHEMO ON WEDNESDAY JULY 1
We had some pretty bad storms up in Tallahassee but my power went out about 6:30 on Tuesday evening, June 30. It wasn't on by the time I went to bed and I was worried that without the alarm clock I might oversleep. I sent a text to Robin to call me early and she did which was good because the power was still off in the morning. With a gas stove at least I could heat water for coffee.

Now you can ask, "Gail, don't you have an alarm on your phone?" "Yes, but I don't know how to use it and besides if I can sleep through the phone ringing surely I could sleep through an alarm, but when the BBC goes off on the radio and I have to cross the room to turn it off, I'm UP."

Helen was early to get me and we arrived at the Cancer Center on time. Lab work, see the doc, and chemo all on the same day. I learned that the drugs are really only in my system for the first 2 days or so and the rest of the time the pain and fatigue are my body's response to the damage. When I'm tired my appetite goes down but I still need to try and eat something and I must rest. This is not a fatigue to push through this is a need to let my body work on making new cells. I think I have a better handle on how to handle the pain - ibuprofen for joint pain and Tylenol for skeletal/muscular pain and take as soon as the inkling of pain begins to get ahead of the pain. The doc, I think, is pleased so far but it's early in the game. My blood pressure was much lower so no blood pressure medicine. I'm cleared for treatment so Helen and I lug our stuff over to the infusion room.

I'm not real sure why people want to get up super early to drive down to Woodville to get me and then spend the better part of their day watching me sleep but I'm glad for them!

Taxol!

We check in, and wait a few minutes before we are called back. We get settled in and wait. They do not order any meds until I am cleared for treatment but the pharmacy is pretty fast and soon the anti nausea meds are dripping. This time lunch comes just a bit before the Benadryl starts so I get about a third of the salad down before I hand the container to Helen and say, "I can't eat anymore because I can't lift the fork." She takes it and I drop off. She goes out to run errands and eat lunch. I wake up to pee about the time she came back. How was lunch? She tells me and I'm gone again and don't wake up until they tell me I'm done and they start unhooking me. She was amazed at how fast I went down after the Benadryl started. Yep, I'm a druggie.

Scott called from my house to say that the power is still not on. I ask Helen to stop for ice on the way home in case I can salvage anything from the fridge.

Helen and I pack stuff in the coolers with the ice and she leaves only to call in few minutes to say that the utility trucks are out and I should have power soon. Sure enough it's back on in an hour. I'm too tired to empty the coolers so leave them for morning.

Now it's Thursday, the day after treatment. I feel pretty good although a little tired. I take care of the coolers and do some laundry and go to town to have lunch with Linda at the Pitaria (YUM!). I went to a friend's house for a lie down before hitting Publix.

If all goes like last time Friday night should be the return of The Hooligans but I am ready this time - at least I hope I am.

I am trying new technology - downloading audio books from the library. When I'm tired and don't feel like holding a real book at least I can listen to one.

I hope you all have a safe and food-filled 4th of July. I think I'm going to be a little under the weather but it'll pass. At least I do not resemble Rick Scott at all.

Fuck cancer.